


Some Days Are Better and Some Are Not

by sebvettels



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M, Post Japanese GP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 16:36:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16245605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebvettels/pseuds/sebvettels
Summary: In where, Seb lost a battle and the war. And Kimi tries to act like he doesn't care.





	Some Days Are Better and Some Are Not

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first fic, so please be gentle. Hope you like it and I'm always open to constructive critics. English isn't my first language, but hopefully it's good enough. Enjoy!

Kimi enters his motorhome, annoyed. P4, that's not bad. Not after the collision with Verstappen, he's not even mad about it. The interviewer after the race is what gets him really worked up. Insinuating that Ferrari is a shitty car and asking how they're going to bounce back from this next year because apparently it's too late to try this year. Kimi snorts, he's not even going to be in the next year, how the hell is he supposed to know. Fucking dumb journalists and their stupid questions.

He opens his phone, some notifications highlighting his screen. He ignores the others and opens one from Minttu, smiling as he sees pictures of his children watching the race to support him. It makes him homesick, suddenly tired of F1 and its never-ending races after races. He walks to the couch, suddenly feeling so tired.

He has apparently fallen asleep for some time that he almost miss the insistent knock on his motorhome's door. Grumbling under his breath, he yanks the door open, almost knocking Antti off his feet. 

"What?" Kimi growls out, a little annoyed at being awoken. 

Antti shoots out without preamble, "Is Seb here?" A look of worry enters his eyes when Kimi shakes his head no, now confused as why Antti is asking about Seb's whereabouts.

Seb. Kimi drags on the name inside his head. A mixture of frustration suddenly crashes over him. Seb hasn't looked at him, not after Singapore, not even at Sochi. He has called out after him, after the discussion with Maurizio, hoping Seb would look at him and talk. But Seb didn't even look back, walking even faster and getting further away from his reach. Fine, Kimi thought, let him have his way, it's not his problem after all.

And so, Kimi has left Seb alone, as he has promised. And he manages not to break his promise, not glancing at Seb, barely interacting with him, and stand as far as possible without people being suspicious. He came so close to breaking his promise when Seb has pulled over next to him, driving the parade car on his own, smiling and laughing, and looking so care-free and unburdened. It reminds Kimi of the Seb who held his hand as he won in Australia, laughed with him after Silverstone, after Lewis had accusing him of intentionally hitting him, the Seb who has looked so hopeful in Spa and Kimi couldn't help but smile even though he had a DNF and pissed off. 

Kimi focuses his gaze on Antti, as he calls Britta to tell her that no, Seb isn't with Kimi and no, he hasn't found Seb yet. 

"What happened?" Kimi asks the moment Antti puts down the phone, eyes curious and a tad worried when Antti's looking worried and averting his eyes from Kimi.

Antti sighs, "Seb's gone." He looks so upset and this time Kimi can see the worry lines forming around Antti's eyes, who looks hopeless the longer Seb can't be found. 

Kimi stares, dumbfounded. His eyes lock on Antti as he voices back, "Gone?" 

Antti bobs his head, explaining, "He can't be found. He did some interviews and suddenly whoosh, he disappeared. We checked everywhere. We don't know where else to check. We thought he'll be here."

Kimi shakes his head, he doesn't know where Seb is. Antti looks dejected, desperation clear on his face. He says goodbye to Kimi and apologises for disturbing him. Kimi waves away the apology, understanding the severity of the situation. He closes the door the moment Antti disappears from sight. Sighing quietly, he makes his way back to the couch, trying to sleep some more. After some attempts, Kimi realises it's a waste, mind's too troubled to sleep again. he starts making his way outside and look for Sebastian. 

Half an hour later, Kimi ends up near the podium. He has circled the circuit trying to find Seb in the dark without success. Checking the time on his phone, he realises how late it is and turns around to return to his motorhome, hoping that Sebastian is already found by now, when he sees a silhouette sitting on the top podium. He makes his way there and only half-surprised when he recognises Sebastian whose back is turned on him. 

"Seb?" Kimi calls out, desperately hoping that this time Sebastian will look at him.

Like a prayer granted, Seb turns, smiling widely as he stands and stumbles, making his way to Kimi with arms open wide.

"Kimi," Seb sways, falling into Kimi's ready arms, "Come on play with me."

Smelling the alcohol in Seb's breath and noticing the red-rimmed eyes, Kimi understands why Seb has been gone. 

"I think there's enough play from you. Not a very nice thing, pulling a disappearing act and making everyone worried," Kimi gently says. 

Sebastian sobers up, slightly. Muttering something under his breath, not expecting Kimi to hear. But Kimi does, and it breaks his heart when Sebastian said that he thought everyone hated him. He lowers Sebastian to a sitting position and holds his hand. 

"Seb, no one hates you." Kimi speaks out. What has started out as an assurance quickly turns into a long speech about why and how no one can hate on Seb, until he blurts out, "How could they hate someone like you? Even I love you, and it's not easy for me to love."

Sebastian looks up, startles. Kimi suddenly realises what he has said and stammer away trying to make excuses, when suddenly Seb kisses him. 

Kimi stills, Seb realising Kimi's not responding back, quickly pulls away, as if burned. He stutters, "Oh God, what an idiot. I'm sorry, Kimi. I thought, I just, I, don't hate me please. Let's just pretend nothing happens, I can't if you, and - "

Kimi shushes him down with a kiss. Seb's eyes widened, caught off. Then as Kimi about to pull away, he closes his eyes and deepens the kiss. They stay there, kissing under the night sky, unbothered with their surrounding, only pulling away due to the lack of oxygen.

Kimi presses his forehead to Seb's, watching the blue eyes shine as he whispers, "I love you."

Seb swallows the confession with another kiss, pouring his love into the kiss, feeling everything will be alright with Kimi by his side.


End file.
